Fear

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline. ~2 Timonthy 1:7

I must confess, I fall into fear sometimes, which affects my actions. Typically, my personality isn't one to be timid or to let others take control. But let's say, maybe, just hypothetically, there might be a situation where someone is extremely volatile and could react very aggressively. So out of fear, I pull back, and placate the person, instead of being firm. But why do I do it? It's not like me to give into someone, to not let someone get away with something that's wrong. But, I was scared. So, in this hypothetical situation, I am grateful for others who are strong and stand firm. And I see that nothing actually happens. It was worse for me to not do anything, and the person actually did what was supposed to be done, in an appropriate way. And to think I was fearful of what might happen, so I was going to let the person get away with something, which does not help the person at all.

So, hopefully I will learn, next time, to not be fearful. Maybe the situation won't turn out so great, like it did, hypothetically, today. But I know that it's better to be strong than to be fearful and timid.

So I wonder what other situations and areas in my life I pull back from doing what I know is right, just because I'm scared. What about you?

Lessons Learned in Weight Loss

It has been apparent that God is using my weight and weight loss journey to draw me closer to Him. Here are a few lessons I've learned so far.

• I do not deserve it

o A vast majority of the time, I am amazed when I look at the scale each week and see it dropping. I am humbled and sometimes feel like I don’t deserve it, because I have never had a ‘perfect’ week, usually in how I have eaten. I could always have had better self-control or made better choices. Then sometimes I get mad about being rewarded for this negative behavior by the number on the scale dropping.

o But then I realized that the most loving thing God did for me was something that I did not deserve. All of my sins were washed away when God’s own son died on that cross, because of my sins, and to save me. That’s astonishing.

o 1 Peter 1:24- He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed.

o Romans 5:8- But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

• I am free

o I am NOT a slave to food. Even though I struggle at times, thinking that I must eat something, or searching to put something in my body even though I’m not hungry. But I’m free. The battle has already been won, and it’s not something I have to fight.

o Romans 6:6- For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin- because anyone who has died has been freed from sin.

• I can only be satisfied by Jesus

o When I mindlessly eat or walk into the kitchen wanting to put food in my mouth, I will never come out satisfied. God has showed me that it is Him I desire, and I cannot be satisfied by the food. The following verse resonates most with me now, even though there are more relevant verses. You see, I LOVE sweets, that’s probably my biggest weakness. And it’s amazing how God uses something that is tangible to me, that I know I really like, and shows me that His words are sweeter than that.

o Psalm 119:103- How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!

• My body is not mine

o 1 Corinthians 6:19-20- Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

• Overeating and eating foods that are not nutritious for me in excess is nothonoring to God. First of all, my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. God LIVES in me. Second of all, my body is not mine to do with as I please, and it is dishonoring to God to treat it like I have in the past.
  

Introduction

I thought I would never create an adult blog, or maybe not until I had kids at least. I've done xanga in the past, but sadly, the people there seem to be dwindling and so I wasn't motivated to keep that up. And I have my blog and page at blogtolose.com which is great. The community there is so encouraging. But I would rather keep those posts about my weight loss.

Also, I've never considered myself one to enjoy writing or journaling. It just takes too long and I'd rather talk to someone. Well, just recently I finally realized that by writing things down it really helps me to think things through and internalize my thoughts about what I have learned. This has happened at blogtolose and with e-mails to my dear friend in NYC.

So, given that I realized I like to blog/journal and I don't want to get incredibly personal on blogtolose, I decided to start a blog on blogspot. I'll probably duplicate my posts that I write on blogtolose, as well as include other thoughts and experiences going on in my life irrelevant to weight loss. It should be fun.